So my WW is still very clearly in the fog, but that's her problem now isn't it. The divorce is looming and the OP is still very hands-off. Things are looking good. Not at all.
All this wandering is clearly in her head, nothing else, she feels that this is acceptable behaviour. It's insane.
Anyhows, i'm detaching more, we're making our own meals, i'm not initiating convo, no physical contact given from my side, and she's leaning in so much, it's sad to see her so desperate, but let me revel in it for the next few months.
I can see how every time i go "soft" (as a test) it pushes her away from me. Each time i pull away, she comes towards me. How is the human psyche built like this? Is there a proper psychological understanding of this "condition" documented anywhere?
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
My wife is in the early honeymoon stages of the fog. I am the monster, the bad guy, the one standing in the way of her imaginary true love.
Unfortunately i have yet to detach well. I am going to have to take a page out of your book.
Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs 23Mar16-BD 9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss. 27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM. 14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation. 24May17-Divorced.
Since I saw you wrote about you W leaving your child unattended and passing out drunk, and that she wants weekday custody and weekends for you, I wonder if you've spoken to a lawyer?
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
@sandi2, I have read all of cadet's homework. I am on this site every second when i'm at work. Luckily there is nothing else for me to do, so am schooling myself.
I am yet to commit to buying a book, but know that I have to. Its not available as an ebook tho, so what would i tell the wife when i start reading such a book? I don't normally read.
@Painter, she has always been drinking as a way to deal with her problems, and I have always allowed it. I cannot allow it anymore, and she's been more sober over the last month than any that i can remember. So no, I have not spoken to a lawyer, as she can control her liquor intake, but shes never been given a proper boundary. I did threaten to leave her 1 year into our R if she did not get some control, this lasted a month and then i just let it happen. I cannot let it happen anymore, not in my house.
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
