I think you might be right Shotgun but to be honest I don't really care now. I had a great weekend with my kids and saw a good friend of mine. We talked about H and she offered her perspective from an outsider. It was a real shock as it proved me that love is blind. She told me that every time we would meet with her and her H, my H couldn't make it because he was playing his favourite hobbies. That the few times we met (at our house or at their place), H was never involved in helping in whatsoever. She reckons he is limited in how he sees life and that even before OW was on the scene he was behaving in a selfish way. I have never heard my friend says anything negative about anyone since I have know her. And to be fair I think she is right.
I feel in love with H because I was insecure and couldn't believe that someone as handsome as him could be interested in someone like me. I remember when he asked me to marry him, I didn't jump straight away and I had a strange feeling in my stomach that something wasn't right but was so pleased that someone wanted me that I was happy with it. H didn't pay a thing towards the wedding as I sold my car and used my savings! Red flags here ignored once again. If I were to look back without my pink tinted glasses, I should have seen those red flags.
I know it's easy to say this now as I look back, but I can't change the past. My gut feelings are telling me it's over with H and that there is no chance of R. After this week and what he put me through I certainly don't want him back. I kept civil with him because I wanted him back, this didn't work. H has checked out for real! And for the first time for real tonight I'm happy to say that going back with him would be a huge mistake! Even my FIL told me that his son was a selfish boat :-)!
H is a taker never a giver. I'm not feeling sorry for him and OW as they both deserved each other with their high morals and values. I'm off the roller coaster and Rouky is going to live for herself! I have been on a couple of dates with different men but gut feelings started to kick in. This time I listened to it and it happened that one of those men could have been a potential stalker! So I'm glad I have discovered it sooner than later :-)!
