WAW still behaving angry and moving to divorce

[SH_]

Thank you all for the kind words, encouragement and Rainbow Strength.

It has been greatly appreciated and needed, as today went from bad to worse.

WAW showed up early to pick up D5 as agreed last night and also I thought the remaining stuff not grabbed yesterday. This is where it went bad. I was told that WAW and sister were just going to take D5 to breakfast, and then come back while I was at church with D17 and get the rest of the stuff. I asked if she would wait and return when I came back from church.

This is where it derailed, and got bad. She started yelling at me about controlling her, that this was still her place since we paid rent until the end of the month. I made the huge mistake of asking if she would want me to access to her new place for he same reason. She said of course not. I asked her then if she would not mind, as it is uncomfortable for me to just have her and family in and out of my place now. She came unhinged, and started yelling outside, and making a scene and saying all kinds of things under the sun. She yelled how she was praying for me to be okay and all, but no more, because I am just trying to make her life miserable.
I stayed pretty calm other than the shaking, but I did not yell, I told her that she could indeed come back and get her stuff and that I did not mean to have it be so difficult. I know I should have held my boundary, but her screaming like a crazy person with my D5 standing next to her and outside where folks all around could see and hear the commotion, I was desperate for it to stop. She then threw the keys to the place at me, android she would take all of her stuff now. She stopped around, screaming random things everytime she came in for another load.

Then D17 broke down and yelled at her mother to stop, that I am just trying to handle a situation that I don't know what to do. WAW then replied that she does not know what to do either, and D17 said to just be kind and try to work together. WAW then accused me of putting D17 into the middle of this and that she should not be in the middle. I then calmly said, that she is not being placed in the middle. I said that this is new for all of us and that I do not mean to cause issues, simply speak about options so that the best one for all of us can be agreed to without hurting feelings.

But anyway, needless to say, today has really taken a toll.

My heart is just shredded, because I want to just let her go, and detach and just stop feeling like no matter what I do, it is wrong. I want a surgeon to cut out the part of the heart that will just not let go.

I want to pain to stop so I can think straight and not have the rest of my life fall apart due to my minds obsession, anxiety and depression. I want to stop expressing this frustration in these forums and to the 3 people that I have as support, because I know that I have to find something inside and stand up and do what I need to do. Grrrrr Arghhh!!!!

I'm not so sure Dbing will help me as this D train appears to have left the station way before I ever knew the engine was fired up.

I just want to feel like I wake up each day to live life, and not wake up each day with terror and wonder why I have to feel like I am slowly dying from the inside out.

Please if you can, say a prayer for my family, I need, we need divine strength and peace in this our time of need.

Thank you all for your love and encouragement each day since I came on here with so many others in similar and difficult family matters. My prayers have each of you in them.