Klassic... it feels like by letting go that you are "allowing" them to move forward without you, but the truth of the matter is, they are already gone. By holding on so tightly, you only prolong your own hurt and pain, and make yourself look even less attractive to your spouse. If your H has asked you to leave him alone, you have to let him go until he is ready to work with you.
H is definitely going to need time to process and heal from the things that have happened in your marriage, and it may take an extended period of time. As a betrayed spouse myself, it took me close to two years to work through the infidelity baggage. For me, being cheated on was about so much more than just the physical act of my husband being involved with another woman (though that was unbelievably painful too). It was the lies and feeling like the entire foundation of my life had crumbled beneath my feet because suddenly nothing was how I'd perceived it to be. Not to even mention all the fun self esteem issues and low self worth that came as part of the package... I can understand your H seeking out new partners via Match for that reason alone.
All these things take time to work through, and the betrayed spouse can't just make them go away (although trust me, we really want to)!! I think you've made an awesome first step by getting help for your addictions and figuring out how you can avoid hurting someone in the same way in the future. Keep going in your efforts at becoming a better version of you, and give your H the time and space he needs to heal too. That is your best chance at repairing your marriage.
