My suggestion is to go back to the beginning. Re-discover each other as you did when you were first dating. Why did you/him fall in love in the first place?
My concern is that your H has "checked out" of the marriage and isn't willing to put forth effort to save it. I don't know if this is entirely true, but it's the vibe that I got from your post. If he's not willing to work on your marriage, that doesn't leave you with many options.
There are definite communication issues that need to be worked out as well as the sexual aspect. Do you know what his love language is? Does he know yours?
Thanks for the response.
I am not really sure why he fell in love. After our first meeting and conversation, he told his family he had met the girl he was going to marry.
I know why I fell in love, but I'm still in love, so I don't really need to work on that.
Yes, I fear he has checked out of the marriage as well. He isn't pursuing leaving, but I don't think he is eager to open his heart up again. In general, he is not a person who has a lot of hope in people's ability to change.
His primary love language is touch, although he is also high on quality time and words of affirmation. And he likes acts of service and gifts too. (I think if I had done a better job of meeting his touch need through sex--instead of through other touching--he might need less of the other love languages.)
I'm words of affirmation and quality time. When he's not depressed, he does a good job of meeting my needs. The last year and a half have been hard.
Me: 44 H: 44 Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10 Together/Married: 22 years H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16 H announced he is going to try to stay and reconnect: 5/1/16
