My suggestion is to go back to the beginning. Re-discover each other as you did when you were first dating. Why did you/him fall in love in the first place?
My concern is that your H has "checked out" of the marriage and isn't willing to put forth effort to save it. I don't know if this is entirely true, but it's the vibe that I got from your post. If he's not willing to work on your marriage, that doesn't leave you with many options.
There are definite communication issues that need to be worked out as well as the sexual aspect. Do you know what his love language is? Does he know yours?
