Mia, We all look back and think about the things that we should've, could've, would've, but the bottom line is this...if they don't tell you what is on their minds, we wouldn't have known how they felt. Also, if he was so unhappy w/you and the relationship, he could have left at any time and not at midlife and you most certainly would have known because he would have exhibited displeasure about everything then.
Some MLCers do not take up w/another partner and this is not strange at all. Their "partners" become work, hobbies, their bestie friends, etc. I know of several who didn't take up w/another person, but were quite happy traveling and doing their hobbies for about 4 years and then came out of the rabbit hole more settled and content.
Mia, do not beat yourself up in thinking that you should have known how he felt. They all become dissatisfied and say things or point out the so called flaws of the relationship and us. They are so unhappy w/life and it's the depression talking.
What do you do now? You move forward and work on yourself. Start a GAL list and check them off as you accomplish them. Many people find that blogging is a great way to get things out on paper and can refer back to them as they progress.
Mia, you can do this. Whether he comes back or not...no one can predict the outcome...but if he doesn't come back, he's lost a wonderful woman who is the prize.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
