14 days of sheer hell

[Painter]

i need to take control and put myself first. I am certainly re-acting based on her words, and the saying goes, be careful what you wish for. I need my WW to learn her lesson, I cannot see any other way.

No, you don't need to take control. Going on the offensive may make you feel better temporarily because you feel helpless and vulnerable and filing for a D makes you feel more in charge again, but beware of what it is you're actually doing.

Putting yourself first is different. Can you download the Divorce Remedy book to get it faster?

All you need to be, is committed to your marriage and family. That doesn't mean you have to put up with a WW's behavior or actions, doesn't mean you don't put yourself and your child first. It just means you stand for your vows. These are the bad times you promised to be there for. What did you think bad times were going to be?

Breaking it off may feel better right now because you think it's going to take away the pain, but it won't. If it does, you're just stuffing those feelings and your ability to feel them, into a dark corner of your mind where they will mess up for you in future relationships.

Also, it's a pretty controlling attitude to say that you need your WW to learn her lesson. Just because you can't see any other way, doesn't mean there aren't any - many - so that's why you should educate yourself before you storm ahead with this.

Are you okay with just seeing your son 2 days per week? Is it okay for him to not see you for 5 days a week? Do you realize you will not be a big part of his life anymore? These are some pretty big questions...