I'm relatively new to all of this DB stuff, so don't take anything I say as gospel. I'll be brief...
It sounds as if your wife is not in an affair (EA or PA). I believe that most people in this forum have spouses that are in the midst of an affair. I think the affair situations require a little different approach than the approaches used for a spouse who's been neglected but has not had an affair. My concern is that some of the techniques discussed in this forum may be a little heavy-handed for your situation.
I have a DB coach and he's emphasized that GAL activities (things you're truly enthusiastic about) seem to have very good results.
