WAW still behaving angry and moving to divorce

[Phoebe]

Hi SadHub, I'm just checking in and letting you know that I'm pulling for you today. I know that it is incredibly hard for you today.

Try not to beat yourself up for being unable to control your emotions and anxiety.

You are not a weak man. You're a good man who is heartbroken. A weak man goes out and has an affair and throws a good marriage away, a good man tries to care for his family and keep it together, even at great cost to himself. You are definitely the latter.

[SH_]

Thank you JimKao for your prayers.

I am feeling a little better as I am alone with my girls for a bit. I am physically drained, but still standing.

Your support provides the needed strength to stay standing this day.

[SH_]

Phoebe, thank you for the words of encouragement and reminders that my run away emotions are not the sum of who I am.

I went to the bank with my D5 this morning and she said " Daddy, I want you and mommy both together." To which I replied, " Baby girl, we may be apart for a time, but I will not stop fighting to be together with mommy, you and your sister." To which she responded, " yay, daddy keep trying to be with mommy!"

This gave me a small bit of energy and a reminder of what I must continue to do. The D may be inevitable now, but I must get it together and fight for this.

Another note, WAW was agitated this morning as she was packing, and I asked her to talk for a moment. I asked if we could be civil as I understood that I have been making her mad, she replied, I am not mad. I am scared, and stressed and worried. She looked at me and said, this is not what I wanted, I did not want to do this. I validated her, and told her that I understand that this will be a challenge. She said that she needs to find herself and just have space to clear her mind and get herself back. She hugged me and said that I will not be alone and that I can take care of the girls and be a great dad.

Anyhow, I am doing a bit better and after one more small load of stuff, I will be alone for a bit and will try and relax and recoup from the energy drain today has been.

Thank you all for your prayers and support and words of encouragement today, it has provided great strength .

[Phoebe]

It sounds like you did really well, SadHub. You voiced your concern that you wanted to keep things civil, and then validated her response and didn't get pulled into any kind of pursuit at her confusing messages. You showed a lot of strength.

Take some time to just sit still for a little while this evening and breathe and find your center again. You've come though a big storm today and you need to take care of yourself for a while.

Take care.

[iwad]

You handled the situation well SadHub! You were calm and did well at validating. Keep up the good work on YOU.

[SH_]

Hi Phoebe,

I am going to take your advice for sure this evening. Move out day is over and I am still standing here in one piece. Physically and emotionally exhausted but I am still right here.
WAW decided not to come back for the final load as I imagine she is out running around with her brother and sister living up her new dream life.

I have been with my girls today getting some groceries and I took my D17 for an interview with an internship with the John McCain campaign and she was accepted. She is so excited. I had lunch with D5 while we waited and had a good time.

I am now here with D5 about to eat dinner and then bathe her and watch a movie and play a game. D17 is off to her very first concert with her friends and is super excited. My first night as a single father. It's a bit surreal to say the least, but this will be the new norm for the foreseeable future I guess.

My D17 seems really excited for this as she has talked my ear off of the plans she wants to pursue together, individually and as a support team. She gives me great strength and has really kept me from focusing on the negative of all of this. I am very blessed as I am working to be the strong father and man here, she is keeping my spirits up in an incredible manner.

Well as I type this, the anxiety shakes have started up, so I am going to take your advice Phoebe and sit down, breath and center myself so I can be attentive and present for my sweet baby angel D5 this evening.

[SH_]

Thank you iwad for the encouragement and positive feedback. It means a lot to me today.

[Phoebe]

You did great today.

I hope you have a lovely evening with your little girl, SadHub, and your D17 sounds pretty incredible.

Whatever happens, reminding yourself to breathe is a really good thing. : )

[J5K]

Great job! I am happy to hear that you are better.

You handled everything well with W.

You are an inspiration!

[SH_]

Thank you JimKao!

It gives me confidence hearing the feedback. I have a long way to go, but small steps right?
Some peace now that she is out. Now I can dig in on the Dbing with a solid focus on me, and not worried about dodging the anger so frequently. I know there is still much more to go through, but the journey starts with one step at a time.