Backslide. What Now?

[Zues126]

I wouldn't confront until you're ready. You don't have to do that immediately.

First you have to figure out what you're ok with. For me, I would tell her flat out that I am unwilling to live in an open marriage, and that this is non-negotiable. That she has disrespected me and the family, and I will not allow that any longer. That if she isn't willing to immediately put an end to this and be 100% cooperative with a transparency plan and marriage counseling that I would be meeting with an attorney Monday. Then, if she gave any other answer I would refuse to be drawn into a conversation and would simply say that you aren't interested in discussing rationalizations from an adulterer and end it there.

But if you're not prepared to follow through, don't do it.

What are your boundaries? I know you want to save your M, but if she is unwilling to remain faithful to you, are you going to stick around and hope she changes her mind years down the road and then doesn't change it back again? Or are you willing to accept her behavior, and just be content to be roommates while she has a series of affairs, one of which she might leave you for, if that means you don't have to face an immediate loss today?

Your decision, let us know what you're willing to live with and we can help you.