I am content, that is a blessing.......

[mleigh4]

Ya, projection for sure. It continued to irk me though, to think I wanted this? I know it's very stupid and he is not in a good state of mind, but I am in laying it all out mode and need to be clear here. I just no longer care about his MLC fog state, the words may just be bouncing off, floating away in the air, meaningless to him, but not to me and that is what I am about right now. What is best for me.

H did some TM"s last night, joking and giving me a hard time about concert, I think he is playing with me and knows how badly I want to go, and maybe a bit jealous? The band I want to see is Stick Figure and I am driving my S crazy listening to nothing but so I can learn all the words and dance my butt off. I love them because they have a very positive self love vibe, so much meaning to me right now! I just can't wait.

Anyway, this morning I wrote him: Hi. As your friend and the mother of your child, I am telling you, you need to be honest with yourself H. Don't color this with rainbows. Nothing about this situation will benefit S, but yes, it makes it better that we get along. I also will add I did not "want" or "need" my husband to leave me. I have taken a really shifty thing and turned it into a life changing experience. I am hoping that S sees and learns the examples of love, strength and respect , even when things don't go your way. He still seems to believe in love and marriage as I do, he brings it up now and then and we talk, so that has been a huge relief for me. And please don't feel like you can't spend time with him when he is with me. You are welcome for dinner or just to hang out, that offer has always been there.

So, again, I feel I am getting thoughts and feelings out that have been so pent up, but not doing it with anger, blame or spew, just calm truth darts with a dash of friendliness.

Now, to pick the 3 foot weeds that have grown with this Cali rain. My front yard is embarrassing!