Thank you Jeep and LiM, it has been good to hear your advice and your experiences. It has given me greater strength and perspective about what I have to do next.
I have accepted that he is just feeling guilty about his decision and that there is nothing more to it. He was supposed to call me this week and he didn't - instead sent that email and texts.
I have decided that our M is over. It is clear it is hopeless and he has no interest in being with me, just remaining guilt. I will wait for H to file, I went to see a L yesterday to be prepared and I am moving on. It is clear he wants the D, even though he said he didn't, just didn't know what else to do.
There is nothing left to be done. I found this forum to be a warm and helpful place, I genuinely had hope in the beginning that there was a chance, glimmer, that this might turn around. Now I know that is not true.
Hopefully he files soon and I can start to heal and move on with my life. Today hurts because I miss him and wish he would have tried a little harder. I really love my H so I think I will never totally understand why he couldn't stay.
Me:33 H:34 T: 3yrs M: 2yrs H depression triggered and we are "unhealthy": 7/15 H wants to "make it work" 12/28 BD: 3/10/16
