Have decided to go NC for my own sanity. H comes in your to pick up kids and drop them off. I'm not in the same room as me as H doesn't try to acknowledge that I'm in the house!
Spoke to SIL about wedding. She told me that when niece was deciding who to invite she wanted me more than my H, but as he is her uncle she couldn't not invite him! I agreed to go to the service as her mother reckons that it'd mean a lot to my niece, and I will honorate my niece's wish. SIL face dropped when I told her I wasn't coming but said she understood. She added that OW will not take my place & anyway she hasn't met her. I believe her when she said that.
We got on talking about my H, and she said that it'll take time to heal for me. That H is arrogant and that in time I'll see that he wasn't good with/ for me. She might have said that to comfort me but she has always been honest with me. It's funny how she and her other sister see H as not a good person. I told her that the good thing about all of this was that he had stepped up as a dad, to which she replied that a shame that he's doing it now. I know I'm mind reading but H has been with this OW for 3 years now: no introduction out kids, not to any of his siblings! Also again mind reading, I asked her if she thought he was happy and she went silent. I guess she didn't want to say yes, but her face looked sad.
Yeah too much mind reading. I know that NC will not help me to save my M as H will see it as what he was blaming me for ( not paying enough attention to him), but I need it for me! I tried it earlier this year and felt better, so dropped doing it, I know I'm not setting the right example for my kids as I'm not talking to their dad (& maybe I shouldn't do it) but I truly need this to heal!
The first time I went non contact for a month, I didn't see any improvement in my situation but I felt better. Now need to seriously take care of myself!
