Don't worry. Your brain and heart are terrible predictors of what you might or might not feel in the future. Right now you feel betrayed, hurt, misunderstood, etc. It feels like in order for you to feel differently about him he'd have to see things your way, understand you completely, change in tons of ways to value things the exact same, apologize for all of his wrongness, etc.
I don't believe it. My belief is that people feel good about people that meet their basic needs. If things moved forward and he was consistently there you would start to feel secure. If he continued to make time to listen to your day and support you through your struggles you'd start to feel understood. Etc. Without any of this other stuff, just by sharing daily life and being there consistently the feelings might very well come back.
No one is ever understood. We just hold hands through the misunderstandings and that's what feels like love.
Thank you so much for this post Zues, it really made me see things could perhaps be OK if he decided he wanted to reconcile. I understand what you mean about feeling attracted to someone because they are doing loving things. Watering the grass I suppose!
