Set your boundaries now. Go to the boundaries thread that Cadet links. It will give you terrific insights. There is another boundaries thread here in the forums that is not too hidden, but I can't find it right now.

Boundaries cheat sheet:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2536096&page=1

It's a good place to start anyway, since part of your question is about boundaries, and before anything you need boundaries and respect.