I am content, that is a blessing.......

[mleigh4]

Lol Hawho, you make me laugh so much, you would be such a great friend to hang out with. Thank you, I appreciate your support.

I keep expecting 2x4's, for not following the rules of no R talk. As you know, I flip back and forth, I can stand, I am done, it depends on the day. I read and re-read my post listing all the things I know, then I start doubting! Lol. This is such a crazy ride. But like you said, I am doing this for me, it feels right and I just know it won't hurt or change anything other than, like you said, giving me piece of mind.

I got tickets to the Roots Festival coming during Memorial Day weekend! My first Reggae concert! It's a 3 day event but I am just doing Sunday to see one of my favorite bands. Just me and one of my besties, we are so excited. I hear from friends that I will be in a sea of surfers....heaven! I asked H if he will be around that weekend to have S so I can go, he said yes. Now, he just TM saying, so I have S this weekend Sat and Sunday?? Sigh, this man is in charge of 55 guys? I don't get it. I told him no, Memorial Day weekend. I sure hope he will actually be around and not pull any last minute forgetfulness. I will make sure to follow up on that.

So, H response to me today: I agree that this has been...overall a good thing for us...I still worry constantly about S, as I'm sure you do too, but he is amazing and handling it as well as can be expected. I do miss him so much it hurts sometimes. But I know as you would say, that this is my choice, even though it seems to be what you wanted and needed also. But I am very glad we can keep the civil, friendly relationship that we have, because I believe S benefits the most from us handling things with his best interests first,like we have.

What a bunch of crap that he thinks anything out of this will benefit our son, other than scarring him for life. But yes, we are making the best of a chitty situation he put us in. And I would really love to tell him, you are misunderstanding, I never "wanted" or "needed" my husband to leave me, but yes, once he turned into a 20 year old selfish jerk who disrespected our family and home, it was time for him to go.

But I won't! Yay me, I keep the 24 hour rule with important discussions like these. No reacting on emotions! In fact, I am thinking to let it rest, I shared my feelings with him and feel good about it.

I hope you all have a great weekend.