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Carry over from my previous thread...

My W's D's birthday is Monday and I would like to give her at least a card and some money.

I have raised her as my own since she was 3 years old.

W and her D currently stay at W's mother's house. I know where they live, I just don't know the physical address to address the envelope.

Ive been contemplating texting W to ask if I could send D some money and if she can provide her mailing address.

W already knows that I know where she lives, she told me where she was going when she left me.

Thoughts?

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You could text W and let her know you'd like to drop off a card and see D, and ask when a good time would be. Then hopefully D will be all over you when you see her, and you'll have a super great gift for her that she LOVES. (Let's see what might be better than money...)And you focus all your love on her. Then leave.


11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker
Reconciling since late April 2016
Don't give up until it's time, then move on
Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
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Hi thornton. Just stopping by to see how you're doing. I think NYGal is onto something good.


H: 44, Me: 45
Married: 20 y Together: 25 y
no kids
Walk away: 12/15
Asked for temp separation 12/25/15
PA confirmed 3/16 (apparently neither the first, nor the last PA he has had)
H filed for D 5/16
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Hey Thornton. I have been reading a bunch of stuff today from older stories on the board. Yours was one of them. Man you really DB'ed the hell out of her the first time around a few years back. I really got a lot of encouragement reading yours and others success stories. Keep your chin up, I truly believe you'll turn this ship back around heading in the right direction. I just believe it may take a little more time.


Me-LBH, 44
Spouse-WAW, 41
Married for 9 years
S, 7 S, 5
BD - November 20th 2015
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I like NYGal's thinking too.

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NYGal is onto a winner. How are you?

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Thanks everyone.

I decided to have a gift card emailed to W'a email address for D.

I promptly received a text (paraphrased for comfidentiality)

W: You really didn't have to do that, thanks for thinking of D
Me: I was happy too! Hope she enjoys her bday
W: smiley emoticon

And that was it...

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I think the e-card was a good in-between Thornton. I vacillate back and forth even in my own stitch about responding to texts however. I almost think it would have been better IMHO to not have responded to her text. After all the intent was to let your/her D know that you were thinking about her on her BDay and not your W.

It's going to be hard again I think because I don't know how long until the next communication will be from W, but leave it in her court. I find that it is almost worse when we do hear from them, because it is never anything that we want to hear, more often just empty communication.


Me:33 H:34
T: 3yrs M: 2yrs
H depression triggered and we are "unhealthy": 7/15
H wants to "make it work" 12/28
BD: 3/10/16
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Nothing new to report from over the weekend.

I really struggled this weekend with missing W and missing D's bday party but was able to pull out of my funk.

I know this is a marathon and not a sprint, so I'll refocus my efforts on GAL and my goals in the gym. BTW, I've regained the 14 pounds I lost after bomb so I'm feeling really good about that!

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