Ummmm......no, you don't have that power over him.
What happened is HE got depressed and unhappy, looked around for a quick fix, fell for the temptation of an affair which gave him a high that TEMPORARILY relieved his depression symptoms, lied to you about it and blamed you.
You did not cause him to have an affair. Many if not most of us here have loving cards and letters from our Hs right up to the moment they started their affairs.
Could you be improved? Sure, we all could. This is a great opportunity to step outside your comfort zone and grow (read Ciluzen's last post). But you didn't cause him to have a crisis and an affair, and you can't fix him. What you can control is being the best YOU that you can be, and making a fabulous life for yourself and your kids. He'll recover or he won't; you may be willing to take him back in the future or you may not. But right now, he's been taken by aliens and replaced with a pod person, so go about finding happiness and joy and new horizons for you and your kids.
