I know I have flaws that contributed to an imperfect marriage. I know husband has flaws that contributed to an imperfect marriage. But in my mind, marriage is imperfect because people are imperfect. I never got married expecting things would be perfect. But I did get married expecting we would stay married regardless of our issues, because if not, why get married in the first place?
I am aware that just because I think this, it does not make it true because it takes two people to make it so.
If husband bailed on me once, what's to say he won't do it again because his beliefs about marriage are obviously different from mine? What if we reconcile because I change and become less critical less negative And dress up again. What then happens if down the line, I get sick or seriously injured or gain weight or if I don't die and get old or if I become less then perfect? Husband has demonstrated that he will not remain committed.
Am I making sense?
Perfect sense. Your H has a problem with "or worse" and "in sickness" and "or poorer". Basically all the parts of the VOWS HE TOOK that deal with challenges. When the going gets tough....he quits. Maybe IC can help him with that massive character flaw, maybe it can't. You have very little control over that but you have 100% control over how you deal with it. Everyone has flaws. Nobody in the history of human beings has ever been perfect. It is a very scary proposition to give your heart to someone that you know will bail if trouble hits. Are you sure you want to do that?
