Decided not to move to Missouri as my 15 yr old decided he didn't want to leave his dad and his dad's family. He is very close to them. So I am going to stay here for now.
I have been doing well on dim contact. When his texts increase or when I see him that's when my self control gets out of wack. We were at an away baseball game last nt, no family or friends were around so we had a chance to talk. He is very much an avoider and shuts me down when I ask personal questions. He did say that we have been thru so much and the many many times he tried to get thru to me in the past (when I was having my feelings of not loving him) just accumulated so much that his feeling went away. He says he'll always love me but it's different now. He is still with OW but he says he thinks about things a lot, that it's not serious, that he doesn't know if he loves he, he doesn't know if we'll ever get back together.
I have to let it all go and leave him be and continue to GAL. I really don't see reconciliation for a loooong time and by then who knows how I will feel. I think deep down he has a lot of anger about me from past mistakes and his feelings are blocked not gone. But he's not one to take the hard road to work things out or go deep with his feelings.
I'm doing and feeling better, not on any medicine for depression. I feel I'm pulling out of that. I am going to concentrate on not contacting him and not bringing our R up!
Not sure what do do or think. I will just keep keeping on..
T-20 yrs M- 7yrs Me-46 XH- 44 S15, S21 1yr separation and divorce, my decision-07 1yr separation, my decision-2012 His PA started Aug 2016 I moved out Sept/16 He's been with OW ever since
