Ups and Downs (III)

[Painter]

I think it's like the interaction keeps touching emotional bruises. Both parties are so sensitized to the habitual communication problems that we overreact to the other. Everything is blown out of proportion and becomes about unmet needs, 'proof' that there's no love, etc.

For you, it's understandably very hurtful that your H is rejecting both you (not helping when you need him) and your children (not spending time with them), so you react emotionally and feel he's wrong. I don't agree with his actions, but who knows what's in his head. Some men feel like when they're paying child support, they've hired a sitter!

For me, it's upsetting when H doesn't respond to text messages because I know he responds to everyone else promptly. It feels personal and uncooperative. Like you, I feel it's unfair because I respond quickly when he needs something, but when I need something, it's still all about him.