So why do i think she's out of the fog: -She is warm to me, and not in a state of confusion anymore. - She says that the turnaround came when i said i could not trust her and she says that she wants to rebuild the trust. - She says she is committed to us and will continue to go for couples counselling (we went last week, but i'm hoping that in a few months she can go on her own, if she wants to). - from what she says and i can gauge, she has not chatted to him since Sunday, and she is definitely not chatting with him when she gets home anymore.
So why do i think she's NOT out of the fog: - I am certain that I am plan B, after careful consideration, she stated "how can I have a relationship with him, he's in another city, when would i see him, every second month?" - She says that she still wants to see him at the end of this month for lunch, just to obtain closure. She says that I can trust her.
Have you checked out rule 32 lately?
Originally Posted By: DDJ
Okay, so what do i do now? Do i "push" her back into the fog and attach, or do i continue to detach and see what's happening?
You calm the [censored] down and chill the [censored] out for a few days. You keep texting these grand proclamations, but they change with the day based on what she says and what she does. Can you just exist for a few days without having a relationship talk?
Stop trying to push and pull HER. Focus back on you. Where is the great life you were talking about making for yourself? Start working on building that. Let her figure out her own [censored].
Im going to level with you, you are less than 4 weeks into this. Settle in; this is not going to be quick or easy. This is a many months/years endeavor. Patient. Consistent. Logical. Rational. Thats what you need to be.
