I'm at a down again..haven't slept and of course right before I'm going away.
Sometimes i feel like I'm self sabatoging. Or maybe deep down I don't want this relationship either. Maybe I never did and was just pushing husband away in past cause I didn't have guts to end things back then.
All I was asking him for was 3 extra hours though. And it escalated. And he takes and sees them less then most. I have done favors for him in past. Maybe he was sabatoging too though. Maybe he knew I would react and I did.
There really is no chance for us. Not at this point.
I am point keeping because I need to know it's not all me. I often feel like it is.
