Is it really possible to remain friends??

[Robbity]

Hi Cadet,

We have already split up - we are not living together anymore. Separate houses and lives so he is not going to see any browsing history etc.

And when we split up I had not long started menopause. It definitely changed my personality.Grumpy, short tempered etc. I am now taking natural supplements for this and am back to my normal self thank goodness.

We never fought at all - there were just these stony silences, I was too scared to rock the boat and felt I was submissive and bowed to what he wanted me to be/do.

When I say I was having a MLC - everything seemed to happen at once. It was like a switch was flicked and I suddenly decided I had had enough of being virtually ignored.

Let me fill in some blanks...

We had just become mortgage free. We both worked full time. I did all the housework, cooking, shopping etc and he never helped me with any of that. He considerëd it "womans work"

We had a motorhome which we never used as there always seemed to be too much to do at home. We had quite a bit of land which needed looking after.He did most jobs outside, except weeding the garden which was "my job"
When the mortgage was paid, I said that I would like to cut down my hours at work so that I could get things done at home which would then enable us to be able to go away at weekends.
His response to that was Ï won't allow that" Excuse me??? That was the straw that broke the camels back for me.

After that things happened pretty quickly - within 2 days I had phoned the lady who was selling the shop and went and saw a lawyer. I had brought the shop within a week.He moved out that week also.
I threw myself into the shop and then saw a house that I wanted to buy.Our house went on the market within 2 months of the split.It sold straight away, so I brouht my new house.

I didn't have alot of time to be wallowing and thinking about what had happened - I was hell bent on forging ahead and living my own life.

Now things have settled down,it has given me time to think. Which has brought us to now.