So I'm trying to work out what I want, like I said in another thread, I made mistakes when W first told me she felt attracted to someone else. I didn't do the work, find the resources that I needed. I let her back and was happy to have her back, didn't handle things correctly as I was doing it alone with how she needed to be as this was a work colleague. I got many things wrong, I put the focus on her even more and even less on myself. I get that she didn't do the work she needed to and this affairs either way are symptoms of other problems. We have been building a house in a foreign country where neither of us spoke the language, a challenge too far in hindsight. I did almost all the paperwork myself, a lot of the work in the house myself and we lost connection to each other. I got exhausted and stopped listening, getting many things wrong. I know she compared me to this OP and his social group of singles that had no kids, real responsibilities etc and that is who she has aligned herself with now.
My problem is the house is really not in a position to sell as we would come out with a huge loss, I'm the one having to look after it and do everything to keep 'us' from losing dramatically. Part of me just wants to sell it and take whatever loss we have and tell her that's the cost of it. She will have her half of the debt. Part of me thinks I'm just hanging outo it to rescue the financial and out of some hope that she wakes up in time. Am I just being the fool by struggling myself while she lives he life in her small apartment, she is putting some money into the mortgage but as our life means nothing to her anymore, I do feel a bit of a fool.
I know I'm early in my situation, it has been 5 months since BD and only been 6 weeks since she has been out of the house. I just wonder when we didn't fix it last year, if I missed the chance and now it's such a worse position if I am just hurting myself. I can look after the house for the rest of the year by myself but will not move forward with it much. Am I hanging on to things like the house and the piano I bought her last year as some silly hope.... Don't know!
