My WW is committed to the marriage and does not want me to give up on her and us.
She said that she cannot build the trust again, i need to, but she will be honest with me from now on. I was never an insecure person, but in this first case she made me someone else, i don't like that person and hope to never see him again. I was very lucky that this was just an infatuation and the OP turned her away. I cannot say that i was blessed, because I believe that we are all blessed, we sometimes just cannot see it.
It should be easy to get the R back, and counselling is scheduled every week indefinitely.
She is definitely out of the fog, is thinking clearly and understands that she is a married woman that lost control, and should not have. I need to make sure that i do not "avenge" her, and i will try my best.
The part I bolded is something that you two will definitely have to work on and resolve or else you'll end up wondering and that will turn to resentment.
Ask her, what if he hadn't turned you away? What if he wanted you to leave and be with him? Then what? Would she have left? Are you plan B because that fell through? What about when the next guy comes along? These are things that have to be really dealt with or these questions will fester and sabotage recovery. You have to try and get all festering questions resolved (not right away, there are no deadlines unless you impose them). Basically souls need to be bared to each other and ALL cards have to be on the table. Nothing held back, no secrets of any kind. No unanswered questions. No rug sweeping.
