One spouse cheats, the other spouse detachs and moves forward with their life and the first spouse wants what they can not have.
It is also not unusual for one crisis to start a second crisis.
You can only control your portion of this. So I think you need to resolve some issues. Like why did you cheat, what were you looking for in your life to cause you to do this? Then you need to for give your self and your ex spouse.
I would say YES you need to follow all the rules that are here on DB. You need to learn as much as you can about what happened and about yourself. Make yourself into a person that only a fool would leave.
