Wow.....she was incompetent. Just the sheer lunacy of a therapist saying people can't change....if so, what possible point would there be in going to a therapist????????

Well, sadly, this was a bust as she obviously would not be the person to pick up on your Hs serious mental health issues. And you already knew going in that it wasn't likely to save your marriage (WASs just go through the motions to say they tried, I've never seen one meaningfully participate in marriage counseling once they've reached the WAS point).

Now obviously this woman was a complete incompetent so don't take my next question the wrong way. But ask yourself this: can you identify any other factors that contributed to this going south so badly in counseling? Examples: is your H just so charming and manipulative that he convinced her he was fine and the problem was all you? Were you so emotional and distraught in the sessions that she wrote you off as a hysterical woman? Do you have any other areas of your life or other relationships where people suggest your behavior is off putting?

I just ask these questions so that you can figure out for yourself what you need to work on, whether it's learning to avoid gaslighting by your H, or finding ways to calm yourself so you don't appear hysterical to a judge, or improving your own interpersonal skills.

BTW I think what you said to the therapist was perfect.

Now you may need to think how to use Aikido techniques to deal with coparenting issues in the future. Aikido involves using the momentum of the attacker to throw them off balance. Emotional Aikido means using techniques to convince H that good behavior is in his best interest. One way to throw him off balance would be to hurry up the divorce process yourself. Drop anything that looks like resistance and start agreeing with him that the marriage is over.

Keep communications about kid issues calm, unemotional and in writing. Use pleasantries and positive re-enforcement.

Btw did you pick this therapist or did he? If someone referred you, you need to let them know she's not qualified.