The sorrow of it all

[CWOL]

No on the alimony part. By going to FL without us, she is effectively giving over primary custody and didn't even realize she did it. And then there is the whole mental side of things - hell, I even have a text from her saying that if she had to go back to FL without them (happened last month - when my son said he didn't want to go if I wasn't going)that she would have ended her life that night.

But yes, I have a nuclear option...

That should be enough to get you primary custody, in most states her leaving like that would be viewed as "abandonment."

Sounds like your L has a good handle handle on the PA evidence. You need to figure out what you want: For her to be away from the OM, then you should expose and report to the command. You may take a hit to the pocketbook in the short run but it will break up the PA and may bring her back to you.
Or if you want to go forward with the D, then hold the info as a negotiating piece.