New Thread for Help

[CWOL]

The Separation Agreement has been completed. Waiting for the other side to confirm they took the RFO off the court calendar. Then I have to sell some bonds from our community property to pay her lawyer off (whether it comes out of our joint assets or hers alone we left until the final D settlement).

Theoretically I should be glad and breath a sigh of relief since we won't have to go to court next week and waste another $7K or so fighting over the legal fees. But in reality, last night was one of the most difficult nights I've had since D-Day. The stipulation in the agreement said that WW needs to leave my house within 10 days of me paying her off. Where she has lived for the past 18 years. I am just really sad at what is happening.

What really gnaws at me is that she will be receiving half of my after-tax pay, due to our Liberal state's laws. Only a third of that is Child Support for my son, whom I have 50% custody as well. Where is the fairness in this? She betrayed me, I didn't cheat on her! My L said that this will get knocked down in settlement by 10-15%. However, I just feel screwed by this whole system of "no fault divorce." I feel I am the one being punished, not her.

I know the DB thing is to Detach, but how do I reconcile myself with this unfairness, when I have to write these checks twice a month? Just thinking about it makes me ill. I just feel she needs to receive at least SOME punishment. I am not convinced karma is going to do it. Can anyone suggest a way for me to deal with this feeling? Would IC help? I am taking an AD to help control my rollercoaster emotions.