What they think should not be your focus. Exposing the A doesn't mean that all of a sudden you are redeemed in their eyes. I'll read your thread and may comment there.

However it appears to me that boundaries are what you need to protect you and your kids.

R 25 years
M 14 years
S11 & S13
Working on it alone since Oct 2014
M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years)
Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr.
Next R chat Aug'17
Still together