Your H needs real psychological help. You can't fix him with advice you'll get here. He's in a major MLC with probably clinical depression as well. He's ruining his life over it. The problem is you can't commit people like you could in the old days. If he doesn't want the professional help then no one can make him and he'll ruin his life.
That's on him. What you can't allow for you and your daughter is for him to ruin your lives too. Tell him to get professional help or to not bother contacting you again and immediately speak with a lawyer. I'd advise you to file for D. Getting served has a way of snapping people like your H out of this fog of MLC/depression. It makes it real. If it doesn't snap him out of it then that's fine too. You would need to move on at that point, divorce him, and heal for yourself. You haven't even reached the half way point of your life yet. You don't need this dragging you down.
