I guess I read things the wrong way and nothing was actually shifting. I feel foolish. I also do not have the fortitude to carry on. I cannot stand the constant rejection. H is moving forward with the D it seems, so there's nothing else for me to do.
It's common to read things the wrong way, which really isn't the wrong way but the way we want to see them. That's not foolish at all. It's completely normal.
The thing to remember is that his journey is not longer yours - and the more that you try to join his, the further he is going to drive away. I don't mean to sound harsh, but you shouldn't look at it any other way. All of our spouses, whether they be just walk aways or cheaters, are on their own path - it's all about them and doesn't concern us in the least. My W is a prime example. She has so many issues that honestly I don't know who the real one is, but as much as things hurt I know that there isn't a damn thing I can do about it. She is on her own path and she doesn't want our family anymore.
Once a spouse has reached the place in their mind to leave, cheat, etc., the marriage is long done. And in their mind, it won't ever return. Ever. Now this isn't saying that a new relationship can be rebuilt, but that is just what it will have to be - brand new and starting from scratch. What we knew previous no longer applies. I'm struggling with this now. I filed and that is the last thing I ever thought I would do. And its killing me - I know she isn't coming back. But its her journey and I'm no longer part of it.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
