Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Such a platitude, but it's true. This morning, I woke up in a different place, in a different state, to start a new life.
Some good signs: I got an e-mail this morning with a small project that will give me a little extra income. I already have a steady work from home-job that I can take anywhere, so today I'm setting up office.
The sun is shining, humidity is low, and I ache much less than I usually do. This climate is much better for me. I took the dog for a morning walk and it was crisp and refreshing. I chatted a bit with another dog walker and got some information about local dog issues.
The hurt from the loss of my M is still there, but not as frequent or intense - I guess the sad events over the last two years have given me time to adjust to what's happening, even if I haven't completely accepted it. It's sort of like having taken a painkiller that *almost* takes the pain away. It's dimmed and I'm able to ignore it. The last night before I left, I so badly wanted to be with H - I missed the familiar warmth and closeness. I resisted because I knew it wouldn't be a real comfort, it would just make it more difficult to leave.
H and I are communicating through texts. We did speak a little on the phone two days ago, but only about practical issues. The texts are also purely about logistics. He wanted me to check in with him during the long drive so he wouldn't have to worry, and thanked me when I did.
I am inclined to go as dark as possible at this point to avoid being reminded of him and what I'll think of as home for a while. We will have to interact about the separation agreement and subsequent practical things, but I suggested before I left that we stick to texts and e-mails, and he agreed.
Mood: Cautiously optimistic.
Activities for today: Getting settled, unloading and unpacking, some office work, phone conference with L, food shopping, contacting local friends to see if anyone wants to get together this weekend. The weather is supposed to be gorgeous.
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
Such a platitude, but it's true. This morning, I woke up in a different place, in a different state, to start a new life. 