I have a similar situation as far as your daughters go. My oldest daughter is actually my step-daughter. My W had her before we married in between us dating. We married when she was 3 or so.
So it obviously changed things between me and my daughter. She was being more rebellious towards me. So I made a stand on that just like you. My W defended her actions saying she was basically an adult, etc. (she's 17) I had to remind her it doesn't matter if she is 42, she's still our daughter and my W has to respect that boundary. I told her it up to her to correct our daughter and remind her she is the daughter that she can't be confused by the things my W is telling her and not being able to process that correctly.
She actually came to me yesterday and told me she talked to our daughter and told her she's not going to be involving her in our situation anymore.
I think you realized what I did that not only do you need any OM to be out of the situation for any R to work, but also the kids need to stay in a kids role and not have them drawn into this and be our wives crutch
M:13 years Known her for 30 years! Me: 40 W: 38 Kids: 17, 11, 7, 7 BD: 02/07/2016 Found EA: 3/22/2016 Told of 2 PA's: 4/8/16 Got Papers: 6/15/16
