Depressed to WW

[Scotch]

So I had another thread going under Newcomers called "UP and DOWN" where I was talking more than here. That was because I was under the impression that this was just an EA that was something more new.

So to catch you up. I confronted her last thursday about setting my boundaries on not having an open marriage in hopes of ending this EA. I truly believe I need him out of the picture if there is any chance at her thinking about us.

It was a few hour conversation. It started with the boundaries which she put up a fight about saying I can't demand those things. To which my reply was I am not demanding but telling you my boundaries. She continued to get mad and I eluded to knowing that she's still contacting her EA. She reacted confused which I was taking as her lying. I said I have proof no reason to lie and she was responding with "wait what are you talking about?" That's when I finally clicked in my head that she was talking about something or someone else. So I stopped and flipped it on her saying ok if I'm wrong you tell me the truth. She asked if I really want to know and I said yes. She paused and the. Began to tell me. First guy was 2 1/2 years ago. Again an old friend from the past who looked her up on FB. Then the recent guy was 2 months ago or so right before she actually told me from a bar. She said that one didn't mean anything. In her mind the marriage was done (ha). I held up my ring again and said l, but it's not. She broke down crying at one point saying sorry and saying she now realizes the reason she did that with the guy years ago was to get back at me for looking at porn and this is how she could get back at me in her head. She said the EA is still just that. She said she considers her as a wife and her as a mother 2 separate things. She admitted her relationship issues but said it wasn't a factor here. She didn't see the EA being interference between us. She asked if I looked up why women cheat and I said of course. She said then I would know that she did all this because I was emotionally unavailable. (justifying to herself I guess) Towards the end It was brought up were we stand and she said if she had to make a decision now that she still wants out and wants to tell the kids. I went upstairs and changed to leave (4:30am) and came down and she tried stopping me saying to just go to bed and cool off. I was just going to work at this point but didn't tell her. My last comment out the door was, the statement I made tonight when this started (about not contacting guys while we are married) still applies