1 - I simply agree with her and say "yes, i see us having that D and i'm letting you go now so that I can deal with it when that day comes". I dont think agreeing and validating are the same thing.
2 - She has agreed to become transparent. I cannot trust her but I need her to believe that I do. If you cant trust her, she isnt transparent.
3 - I've got to prepare myself for when she leaves. My other problem is that I know that I can do better than my current wife. I feel bad to say it, but I have a chance at a second beginning with someone else. However, I will fight for my wife as long as I know that she has not been unfaithful. Once she is, I will sue her and leave her with nothing. Huh? This doesnt sound "virtuous" at all.
4 - I expect her to be pushed away, but i'm hoping that the psychologist see's the irrationality. I cannot play it nice, that will allow my WW to play nice too. Gotta bring out the big guns and have her face her truth right now. Before he comes to town, hopefully. Why do you think that "her truth" is your version of it?
Just out of curiosity, DDJ, what are your goals? Are you trying to stay married? Or trying to get her to give you a reason to divorce her?
