I hope you took no offense. The Va. weekend sounds tremndous and many times I've thought about going. With Eddy going--I thought we could really share some war stories and insight.
At the same time, Ii really have no idea how I would react at such an event--especially if I ended up having a few too many (not something I plan--but it happens). Not that we're not all responsible adults--but that I actually might feel a crushing sense of sadness being surrounded by so many caring people, while knowing what awaits me back at home and awaits all us in terms of our families, children, hopes, and dreams.
I recognize this may be overly pessimistic and that I could find the weekend an amazing source of strength, but I just don't feel going is "right". And it would feel weird telling my kids that I'm going away to see people I don't know when W and I are still living together. Maybe you guys can convince me otherwise, but I'm just not there yet.
As for the C, I hear you. My W's ambivalance is raging tornado that touches down on my head all too often. But as they say, I guess ambivalance is good--and I'm also hoping (not too much) that the legal separation decree that W's lawyer presents to her is a mind boggling retreat to financial reality. I also suspect that W is continuing her EA with OM. While there is absolutely nothing I can do about this -- I sincerely believe there will be no progress in our R until this goes away. Oh well. Time to go home to start another weekend.
We are celebrating my grandmother's 100th birthday with W onboard around a family she hates and where warm fuzzies are highly unlikely to be returned to her. God give us peace.
