Amazing how they can just jump from OM to OM isn't it? Makes one wonder why any LBH would ever consider taking them back. It it really all a frame of mind that these waywards have, some sort of revenge, or just who they really are???
Amazing how they can just jump from OM to OM isn't it? Makes one wonder why any LBH would ever consider taking them back. It it really all a frame of mind that these waywards have, some sort of revenge, or just who they really are???
It's tough. If she snaps out of this dumb behavior, and you two work it out, then you have to be aware that will take a huge amount of sh*t eating on your part. Huge amount. Some people aren't willing to eat as much sh*t as it will take to reconcile with a wayward spouse and I don't blame those people one bit. The things that our WW's put in their mouths and then come home and kiss the kids goodnight? You'd have to think about that every day but then let it all go. It's hard work my friend, really hard work. It's easier to walk away yourself. It's much harder work to stay together because, let's face it, once they've gone wayward they are forever tainted goods. That's just how it is. Things can get better over time but I'd be lying if I didn't admit that from time to time when I kiss her it pops into my head the things she's had in that mouth.
We are still in love with each other but, as we've discussed many times at MC, at the end of this sh*t storm she got a loyal clean husband that was always loyal and clean. I got an ex-cheater that did some very nasty things with other people. I think I got screwed in that deal but oh well. I love her. Although you have to eat all that sh*t, DO NOT ever be a doormat again. Be strong and know that no matter what happens you're going to be fine. You really are. Be strong, brave, and a leader of your family. She'll respect that. Any woman would.
Well for now brother it's full D ahead. Like i said when she got serious with this 2nd OM it was time to file. Didn't faze her, and i didn't expect it too because i knew she wanted it after she met him. The only dumb warward remark she has made was who knows what the future holds, but don't they all say that? Detach, Detach, Detach that's what I've been working on. If we were ever to get back together i'm pretty sure it's gonna be well after the big D.
Just got caught up with your sitch, GWH. I'm really sorry that you are in this situation. I don't have a lot to offer, but I do understand the betrayal of a wayward spouse all too well.
Detaching, I'm learning, is so very easy to talk about, but the reality is that it's extremely difficult, and takes time. It's for our own protection, but we're not at all accustomed to having to detach from the very same person we've spent so many years attaching ourselves to. Intellectually it makes sense, but emotionally... not so much.
I just wanted you to know I'm reading and wishing you the best.
H: 44, Me: 45 Married: 20 y Together: 25 y no kids Walk away: 12/15 Asked for temp separation 12/25/15 PA confirmed 3/16 (apparently neither the first, nor the last PA he has had) H filed for D 5/16
Sorry for where you are currently. However, when the shock and haze lifts you will see things much more clearly. OM2's are just that, substitutes for what WW really want or time fillers because they do not know what they really want.
Counselor said something really odd, which is in some books too. A woman's chances of meeting a good guy post D is very, very, slim. While a man's chance is higher. He explained the statistics and variables but I have a reason I have my profession, because I do not get math.
Any way my point being, seems OMs are usually a downgrade or in my WW's case slumming it. And while OM2 is slightly better (employed) I think not really anywhere near what she had. But that is their problem and not ours.
I am hoping the best for you. I agree I do not think I could ever work back with WW. As it stands I would not want to even try.
Me 41 W 33 M 2013 Suspect A 11/15 Confirm A 1/16 She moved out 2/14/16 Stepson 13 Stepson 16
Detaching, I'm learning, is so very easy to talk about, but the reality is that it's extremely difficult, and takes time. It's for our own protection, but we're not at all accustomed to having to detach from the very same person we've spent so many years attaching ourselves to. Intellectually it makes sense, but emotionally... not so much.
I very much agree with this Phoebe. This is what i must do to get me through this mess.
Originally Posted By: TimR
OM2's are just that, substitutes for what WW really want or time fillers because they do not know what they really want.
S29 told me that her FB said in a relationship so i'm guessing it's what she wants.
Originally Posted By: TimR
Any way my point being, seems OMs are usually a downgrade or in my WW's case slumming it. And while OM2 is slightly better (employed) I think not really anywhere near what she had. But that is their problem and not ours.
Well brother i happen to know that these OM's are never better than any of us because after all they are praying on married woman. I like to call them maggots.
Like i said it's full D ahead. She wanted it to begin with, and i filed when i found out about the 2nd OM. I don't really know what's going to happen in the long run because i still do love my W but.....
I look at my H's OW as damaged goods. I blame him, not her, because he is the only one responsible for his actions.
H: 44, Me: 45 Married: 20 y Together: 25 y no kids Walk away: 12/15 Asked for temp separation 12/25/15 PA confirmed 3/16 (apparently neither the first, nor the last PA he has had) H filed for D 5/16
Just wanted to pop in and see how you are doing. I appreciate all the support you have shared with me and wanted to return the gesture. Hope all is well and that you have a great weekend.
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
