Merrick, first I'd like to congratulate you on the 8 wks w/out an outburst! Second, I'd like to say "atta boy" on the hug and kiss. Even though she didn't take to it very well, it probably stirred more emotion on her and was something DIFFERENT! And you got a good response in the fact that she brought out the "friend" kiss.

I see that you are driving down a new path. One which is making her think in regards to the S and how the $ will be an issue if she persists on it which would hinder the ability to rent a beach house. These are all things that will make her sit back and think. And the fact that you mentioned the "family" events...what is that??? My H is thinking along the same lines as your W-can you say WTF??? I don't know how they could consider family events if a M is not in tact at that point-just proves the point that they are not quite ready to severe all ties.

Not sure I added to anything here but Merrick I think you have made some strides. Maybe changing the conversation to those things that you've thought about as she has bellowed them at you will give her food for thought. IMHO, until she releases some of her anger and hostility that her life is not going "according to plan" I would have to guess that you will be struggling w/her outbursts and fear for a while. (sounds strangely like my H's concepts) Keep on hanging. You're a great person for putting up w/the anguish that you take and I hope you get out for yourself on occassion.

p.s. I have thought about calling Eddy w/wife present but wouldn't want to create an added heat for him. It would be a good mysterious thing though...LOL Tootles.......

Karen