That's just it otw i'm not looking for it to help. I think it's my way of saying i dropped the rope sort of speak. When two people are done, and are getting a D why even comment on not knowing what the future holds?
I get that you are saying you are done or being done but actions are a lot better than words. Telling someone they are dead to you. I guess that is just not my style.
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
GWH you are mind reading. BTW take the high road, do not stoop to her level, all that will do is keep you from detaching. Instead of controlling you with love she will control you with anger. I don't know if how a WW controls you matters to WW much, just as long as she can.
Remember the best revenge is to live a good life. Good luck to you!
Me 41 W 33 M 2013 Suspect A 11/15 Confirm A 1/16 She moved out 2/14/16 Stepson 13 Stepson 16
Your right Tim i was mind reading, and it lead me to get very angry. Used words i shouldn't have. I was doing fairly well too. I don't know how people do the in house i'll tell ya. W has two OM's under her belt, and she still get's to me. Why???
GWH, that is because you still have a death grip on that rope and its firmly wrapped around her. That is why she still can pull you off balance. There is no shame in that, you loved her completely with all your heart. So dropping that rope does not happen overnight!
My WW, would get me to beg and plead. When I got here and learned not to she changed her MO, instead she would drag me into fights. When I set boundaries it she got even worse, calling me all sorts of names and attacking my sexuality. when I did not react how she wanted crying or screaming, she then used what she knew would kill me, threatening taking S away. Luckily for me she did not follow up on that.
Regardless of what my WW has done to me, I have read a lot on this board and it just appears to be a pattern. We learn validation, they attack it; we learn detach light and breezy, they start fights. As only a W can she will know how to push your buttons. She is the only person who knows how to hurt or anger you with such efficiency and brutality. And she will not be afraid to use it.
Sorry to have to break this to you. But its better to be prepared. Think of what she will say to you and how you will respond. Be ready with your validation and boundaries. Stick with your consequences. That was never my strong suit, I would often get dragged into the fights and think how the he11 did this happen.
My best wishes to you buddy!
Me 41 W 33 M 2013 Suspect A 11/15 Confirm A 1/16 She moved out 2/14/16 Stepson 13 Stepson 16
Thanks for the advice Tim. I really appreciate it. I thought after i filed for D this would be easy. I was wrong. Apparently i still haven't detached enough, and my boundaries are not very well in place. I need to get to work on this stuff.
Hey all, something that I've been thinking about, and i need some opinions from you all.
After my STBXW moved into her own place her A soon ended. She then had me believing that we still had a chance, and there were no D talks during this short period of time. A few weeks later she meets someone else then tells me she wants a divorce. Well things get serious with this OM pretty quickly so i filed. Figured with 2 OM's under her belt it needed to happen. Now what's been on my mind is this normal wayward behavior to go from an A to a relationship just like that?
It must be somewhat normal because my STBXW told me last night she is not dating and when I checked her online dating site, sure enough she was online. I didn't even sign in as a user and her profile pops up showing evidence of her searching for who knows what. She has already dated at least 2 OM that she has admitted to.
They are not themselves.
H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6 S-9,8,8,6,4 S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15 EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16 PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16 XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16 Finally moving forward...
Hey all, something that I've been thinking about, and i need some opinions from you all.
After my STBXW moved into her own place her A soon ended. She then had me believing that we still had a chance, and there were no D talks during this short period of time. A few weeks later she meets someone else then tells me she wants a divorce. Well things get serious with this OM pretty quickly so i filed. Figured with 2 OM's under her belt it needed to happen. Now what's been on my mind is this normal wayward behavior to go from an A to a relationship just like that?
Any port in the storm. Her moving into her own place enabled it.
