Nice to hear from you! Firstly, I think we both knew that your W's R with the 'Passport Chaser' wouldn't last. How are you doing? Judging from the above statement, it doesn't look like you have any chance of R. Has she asked to talk to you? How are the kids?
I hear what you're saying and, you're right, of course I'm 'waiting' for her to change her mind. You get subtle hints from time to time that all is not well and that she is regretting her choice. Why am I waiting? Well, it's like this, I don't want to give up on an R. I'm not, however, sat around wringing my hands, doing nothing etc. I am proactive in getting myself fit and in the correct shape/mindset for an R with whoever is next. I am hoping it is my W, but if not, I have to be ready for the next R.
You will know that with kids, you can't go dark. That, of course, is a problem as I don't feel that they can truly feel loss, as you are in contact/seeing each other when you swap over etc. In a way, I sometimes wish that she was having an A, and that could help in her seeing her loss. Maybe someone has an answer to 'providing loss' in a childcare situation?
As for GALing, it's on an 'as and when basis'. I'm not out every night, but am enjoying the gym, if only to see how the knuckleheads perform in front of the mirrors! I'm bust at work and with the kids, so it would be difficult to fit anting else in.
Depression, getting low, however, I do find to be something to watch out for. Quiet times lend my mind to wander and I have to watch for that. I'm probably not a perfect DB'er by any stretch of the imagination, but, I don't feel ready to give up on my M; I feel we can repair our R, but I just wish I had a solution to break the limboland feeling I have.
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
