Jjb, hmmmmm... Does your h have a twin? He sounds too much like my xh! Xh compares me to his mum, but he doesnt realise that his mum does not work and can afford live-in help.
As for me, I have always told him that I am not domestic. I will like to ask if you have a long-lost twin too.
There seems to be a distinction between our (x)h's needs and love languages. I suspect that we can keep the house clean enough to eat off the floors but the clean floors would never be aphrodisiacs to (x)h. However, they get mighty unhappy if we don't meet this need.
Xh'S ll is physical touch, but he doesn't realise that by fulfilling his need for domesticity, there is only so much of me left for other aspects of our lives. Something has to go. For me, it was easier to meet his need for domesticity than his need for physical touch due to the resentment from not having my own needs met.
Thinking back, perhaps things would have been better if I had tried harder to meet his need for PT instead of concentrating mostly on domesticity?
My xh says that I have done nothing for him. Hurtful? Extremely. But I finally realised he felt that I had never been physical enough for him and I had never given him enough words of affirmation.
If I had known his ll, I could have reclaimed so much of my life from chores.
What do you think is your h's ll? Could that be what he's asking for?
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
