What didn't work was trying to nice her back. I didn't set boundaries I should have and she took advantage of it. I also spied on her and made her feel "unsafe" by her having to look over her shoulder and it keeping her from being with the OM. I also got in relationship discussions and she pushed my buttons and it started arguments.
What worked was getting my own life and being nice, but not being available. Letting her come to me. All the way up to the separation agreement we were getting along because we weren't arguing and I was being reasonable and acting like I was ready to move on. There were two ways I could have gone those many months ago. GAL and pull back and ignore what she is doing, or lawyered up and had her served. Either might have worked better.
H:54 W:46 D:11 D:21 M:12 BD:1/15 In-house Separation 2/15 DB started 7/15, W sees consistency 9/15 Dropping the rope and having her leave 2/16, moves 5/16 Reconciliation 1/17 Obviously still struggling
