Bleh- so h was messing with his Facebook. I got a notification that h tagged me in a life event.... Stating when we got married. I thought to myself, "what the heck is that all about?" Of course it showed up on my timeline and people started asking if we were back together. Well, he quickly went in and changed his relationship status (which is what I think he meant to do in the beginning) and changed it to "it's complicated". Why even have a relationship status? And really how is it complicated? Its not. It really isn't. He chose to not want to be married because he didn't love me. I guess it's only complicated on his end, but I'm not feeling the complications over here. Anyway, I have my personal info and relationship stuff all set to private so nobody sees it. I'm wondering why we're even connected still.
It's just a "whatever" thing, but it did sting a bit, I have this anxiety running through me right now. I know it's going to take a while for it to subside. Deep breaths.
Anyway, yesterday's GAL event was amazing!!!! Let's just say it involved a woman with her O.W.N network and said woman was present with a bunch of other inspirational people. It got me good.
Gotta keep the good vibes up this week. I'm moving (literally) and moving forward regardless of my "complicated" relationship. Arg.
Me- 30's H- 40's T-10 M-5 I moved out b/c he wanted space- June 15 D filed by H: September 16
Hi Feyth, I'm pleased to read how you are doing - and yes, that's a bit yucky with the FB stuff. As you say though - you know exactly where you are with things and if your H wants to mess about and be 'complicated' - well that's up to him.
The main thing is the solid progress you are making and like you just posted elsewhere, I read your thread and think - ah, now here's a lovely woman who's gonna be just fine - good for you.
I know it hurts though when we go through these social media episodes, and I do sympathise. I'm lucky that my H isn't much of a social media user.
Take care Sweetie xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Thank you for the support, Sotto. Not going to lie, he was on my mind today and I kept wondering why he changed his status, is he in a relationship? I know it serves me no good to think about it... But dang... Tell my brain that!
I got the keys to my new place this evening. I'm excited for it. I'm not excited about the rent, but it's a good place for me for the next year. I think the hard part is just feeling like I'm distancing myself further and further. Another level of detachment,... Literally.
Me- 30's H- 40's T-10 M-5 I moved out b/c he wanted space- June 15 D filed by H: September 16
Hello there. So, the last 3 nights h has invaded my dreams. 2 of those nights included reconciliation dreams. Those are enough to make one's heart sink.
After h changed his relationship status to "its complicated" he removed me from his fb completely. Another sign of the capsized boat sinking deeper and deeper into the abyss???
Today is officially moving day. I'll be in my new place tonight.
Overall, I'm feeling kind of low and solemn but I'll be a-ok!
Me- 30's H- 40's T-10 M-5 I moved out b/c he wanted space- June 15 D filed by H: September 16
Darn darn darn. Ok DB'ers- I'm panicking. My knees are shaking, heart is racing. Me moving and packing things up is really getting to me. So many thoughts are racing through my mind and heart.
Just had to come on here and vent that out for a second. It's going to be a long day.
Me- 30's H- 40's T-10 M-5 I moved out b/c he wanted space- June 15 D filed by H: September 16
I understand where you are coming from as in a few weeks it'll be my turn to pack! We are still grieving our marriage and relationship whereas our H have already moved on, so that's why it hurts.
Hang in there :-)Good luck with the move and congratulations for the move.
Thank you, Rouky! Here's the thing, I've already been living in my own place for 10 months. I think the difference is, that place was supposed to be temporary during our trial s. Well, now I'm moving to the new - more permanent place..... It hurts. It feels like there's no turning back from here.
Me- 30's H- 40's T-10 M-5 I moved out b/c he wanted space- June 15 D filed by H: September 16
Keep strong you are still young and got a lot of years ahead of you. You are a beautiful woman and have values and morals. It's so rare nowadays, but that is what makes you special :-)
It's officially been a week now that I've been in my new place. I'm still getting things straightened out and getting used to the new routine. I like it so far!
So, this week was pretty cool. I completed a big project and it got a lot of attention... Was showcased on 6 different news stations. I am super proud of myself. I haven't felt a strong sense of pride in a while so it feels extra incredible.
On the other end of the pendulum, I am feeling really, really, really guilty, shameful, and even hypocritical... I'm liking a guy who is not my husband. We've been on three dates and I'm very much attracted to him. I Have no clue if I'm making a mistake by allowing myself to date (I went on one date with a different gentleman a few months ago and I really knew I wasn't read then)... But now I'm feeling like it's ok to test the waters. The thing is, I'm enjoying our conversations and we're having fun. He's incredible at listening and validating!!! I think that's what I appreciate most. He doesn't have to agree with me but he appreciates that I have a point of view. Yesterday, when I told him about my project, he said- "that's fantastic, i know how hard you were working on it. You must feel ecstatic." I melted!
So, today I'm feeling resentful because I should be having fun with H. I should be up talking at all hours with him, I should be sharing life's ups and downs with him. I'm feeling guilty because by dating, I've stooped to his level. Have I thrown in the towel? Am I ruining any chance of reconciling (even when that doesn't seem to be an option?) I've been mulling this over and I've shed a few tears over it.
Clearly, I'm in no place to be planning a future with this new guy. I'm just allowing myself to be and feel and it's allowed me to feel attracted to him. I didn't know if that would ever be possible again. And who knows, I could learn a new side of him tomorrow and be completely turned off... Truth is it doesn't matter as I'm taking it very slowly and one day at a time. It's fun learning to do something for the first time again, but I am also feeling guilty and ashamed. I vowed to be rock solid during all of this and here I am just a year after BD and I'm moving on.
It took courage for me to share that as i know I am in the company of those who have stayed true to the course... I feel sheepish for even posting this. Especially after Rouky made that incredibly kind comment about me having values and morals. Well, I guess I'm just as bad the MLCer.
Me- 30's H- 40's T-10 M-5 I moved out b/c he wanted space- June 15 D filed by H: September 16
