Feeling lost

[srt]

checking in again, had a week of GAL and holiday time with kids, lots of fun and helped take my mind off things.
Tried to maintain NC i.e. did not initiate and this worked well for me. Not sure if W has twigged yet that if she wants to talk/discuss it must now come from her.
At changeover was "as if" and kids were really showing what a great time they had during hols. She managed to have a dig, saying "you never wanted to do that before" - I couldn't think of what to say to validate this, and couldn't ignore it since it was directly stated, but also didn't want an argument about it. I simply said I couldn't remember that.
Goals for this week are to sort out my goals!
Needing to start taking the DB book seriously and starting to put it into practice. In many ways I feel I've been treading water up to now and slowly sinking, this is despite friends and family saying I am doing all I can do.