Mu, sorry to hear about the new development. Give yourself time to grieve and take things slow. Be gently with yourself and don't tske all of the blame for this. You had your role in the breakdown of the M just as she did, neither of you are 100% responsible. She choose to walk away and not try when you did. You worked on your flaws and became a new person, don't discount that.
Her walking away isn't about not forgiving you, it's about her. Not wanting to do the work or feel certain things, not wanting to feel worse about herself because of her actions. I'm sure you see the other likely roadblock but none of it matters. It's her life and her choice, which is a loss for her in the long run. There will be life for you after this, no matter what happens.
You're going to be ok mu, just keep following your path. It's going to hurt and wont be easy but you will come out the other side just fine. Talk to you soon.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
