My first post - please be nice.

[Cherry]

Hey Collin, thought I'd swing by to offer support too. You are important, and you have a purpose. I know in the early days this is so so difficult. And you feel that just about anything that can take the pain away will help. My h had an affair, came back and now we find ourselves back here with him yet again checking out. The first time he came back he said my strength and seeing how I was still a great mom dil to his mom made him see what a great person I was. He also said that he began to see that I would actually leave him and that scared the sh** outta him.

My h too is really religious, but like sandi says there believes disappear. He believed it was all part of gods plan and would find any way to justify his behaviour.

They are purely acting upon emotions. Truth be told, they are incapable of a healthy r right now. Have you read the lighthouse story? Read it, several times a day. It helps. So do sandis rules.

I'm with you on the hurt, I come here and I vent. But I don't let him see me down, or hanging round like a lost soul. They need to see that you are a strong person. Worthy of love with or without them. Counter intuitive but it works.

Just don't let her get you down. Don't tell her you will change. She won't listen and she will see whatever you do as just a plan to get her back. Have a good think who you were when you met, what did you enjoy? Do these things. She needs to see you getting by. When you see her, be civil, friendly but not ott. Just appear content.

When you start to detach it gets easier. And I know, serious I do, how much this hurts. But this process can work. But you gotta start with you.

We're rooting for ya buddy! You can do this, you got it!!


This too shall pass.