Cherry, hmmm, let's just say that if I had been a teen mum in mid teens, I could have had a D your age.

You say I sound young, I say I sound a tad immature for my age. Which is really funny because when I was younger, I was told that I was mature for my age. It's like the emotional maturity version of Benjamin Button?

While you, Cherry, you sound like you've got major big girl undies for someone your age. wink Me, I sometimes feel like I have accidentally nicked kid's my little ponies undies. Not that I could ever fit into them, but you know what I mean.

I guess we should just count our blessings that we don't look older than we are.

I guess I can finally feel myself dropping or cutting away most part of the rope. I don't try to guess what's going on in xh'S head.

I know that if he wants to come back, he will definitely make his wishes known. I am not going to stand at the door and keep looking out for him. Hey, at this point in time, I consider the door closed and quite locked. But I haven't changed the lock and he still has the keys.

I realise now why Cadet tells every newbie that we have been given the gift of time.

It has been 1 year post BD and 7 months post-D and I have been taking stock of my life. What have I done with myself?

Improvements:
Physically, I have changed a lot as I had started to let myself go beginning of last year.

New hairstyle, new hair colour, new lashes and of course, a new weight.

I am more conscious of my grooming and try not to step out of the house looking like what the cat dragged in.

Nutrition-wise, I have fallen back on the bandwagon. I used to be conscientious about my fruit and vit intake but now, I just grab whatever is convenient.

Exercise- wise, I have bought a few groupon vouchers for the ice skating rink. Plan to use them for bonding time with kid.

Emotionally, I am coming out of the abyss now that my housing sitch is rather settled. I don't feel so uncertain and insecure anymore and that is improving my general pma. The recent pay increment helped too by letting me realise that things probably aren't as bad as it seems.

Socially, I have been withdrawing into myself but I am going to start going out on dates soon. It's a great pma boost to have so many guys liking my profile but I am going to continue dbing even with these new guys. No expectations; be firm but non-aggressive with my boundaries and take my time in deciding who I will allow into my private sphere; be pleasant but not clingy (totally no issue with this because I am by nature not a clingy person. Damn it, xh, you should know that I don't reciprocate feelings feelings easily. You dont Know what it is that you had.)

I should use more of my dbing skills and other tools in my work though. I realised that validation and words of affirmation almost work wonders professionally. And stating boundaries is a life saver for me and helps me to carve out my personal space from my professional. In my line of work, it's so easy to be consumed 24/7 by work and stakeholders.

You can call me Dory/ Grl.

As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"

It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.